alltimeangela: why does leonardo dicaprio always end up dead in the water with no girlfriend
perma-scowl: may the wings of your eyeliner always be uneven
This is what Yahoo paid $1.3 Billion for.
pastalad: pastalad: so this morning my dad said “hey we got some tomatos” and i walk into the kITCHEN AND THE ENTIRE TABLE WAS COMPLETELY COVERED IN TOMATOS LIKE DAD THAT IS NOT SOME TOMATOS THAT IS A FUCKLOAD OF TOMATOS WHRE DID YOU EVEN GET ALL OF THESE TOMATOS JUST IN CASE YOU FUCKERS THOUGH TI WAS JOKING
1/4 of tumblr: OH MY GOD GUYS THEY ARE GOING TO BUY TUMBLR
1/4 of tumblr: OH MY GOD THEY BOUGHT TUMBLR AND ARE GOING TO CHANGE EVERYTHING
1/4 of tumblr: WHO THE FUCK CARES, THEY AREN'T CHANGING ANYTHING ANYWAYS
1/4 of tumblr: yo wtf how is this fucking site 1.1billion dollars we literally post porn and doctor who all day
armisael: i was reading a list of pancake flavors at this restaurant and one was buttermilk chocochip and i read it as benedict cumberbatch
largebeard: foodchewer: *hides good snacks from family members*
dieceased: remember that one time you called your teacher mom
yepperoni: are you a trap card because i’ve fallen for you
darrynek: the nominees are leonardo dicaprio leonardo dicaprio leonardo dicaprio leonardo dicaprio leonardo dicaprio and the winner is *opens envelope* adele
riningear: mom… dad…. I’m bisexual THE BIBLE SAID ADAM AND EVE, NOT ADAM OR EVE
craplos: ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.
neonspectrum: AAaaaaaa presentations ;____;
I am honestly so much more content sitting in my room alone at night smiling and crying to myself as I watch my favorite tv shows, than being out in the uncomfortable situation that involves me pretending to be having the good time of my life with boring people, who don’t know a thing about me, who don’t care about me, who do pointless things.
Reblog if you think gay marriage should be legal.
awindowtothewest: the-queen-of-anchors: HOLY FUCK THE NOTES. If you’re my follower and you don’t reblog this we have a problem~ HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THE NOTES you better reblog this. reblog EVERY TIME THIS IS ON YOUR DASH .
initiala: A little girl in my 4th grade class came up to me after recess and said, “I got married at recess!” and I said “Oh? I didn’t know anyone was ordained under the age of twelve.” and she asked me what ordained meant and I explained and then she said “Oh, well, no, my wife and I were married by the slide, but we’ll be happy together anyway.” So apparently on school playgrounds, slides are...
bigstupidbaby: ugh mums are so annoying ‘clean ur room take out the trash im worried about your mental health why is there a dead guy in the living room’ ha ha yeah ok whatever mum
ejacutastic: when guys talk about how gross periods are i just laugh because guys have a floppy piece of flesh that gets hard and that’s pretty fuckin weird, bucko
sourwolf: it’s ironic that tumblr loves a film about how exciting and amazing it is to be outside #well she didn’t have wifi so outside was the next best thing
clever-one-word-url: GUYS MY 10 YEAR OLD BROTHER WAS JUST TELLING BE ABOUT HOW HE KNOWS EVERY GUY’S CRUSH IN HIS CLASS AND H KEEPS TRACK OF IT SO THAT IF A GUY GETS A NEW CRUSH HE GOES AND CALLS THE GIRL AND LETS HER KNOW. HE LITERALLY USED THE PHRASE “I’M IN THE BUSINESS”. GUYS MY BROTHER IS A 5TH GRADE PIMP
seekingvakarian: this week on tumblr: yahoo buying tumblr “bitch I might be” POKEMON FUSION